Where did BPD stigma come from?


In recent years, BPD has earned a very disagreeable stigma, so disagreeable that people who have a BPD diagnosis are refused treatment, being told they cannot get better or feared by professionals who might treat them. NPD too, hasn’t always been as demonized as it is right now. NPD and BPD have become almost interchangeable in the narc-abuse community. I don’t recall it being that way in 1996 when I got my BPD diagnosis, and I don’t remember ever being told I was hopeless or unredeemable or evil or anything like that. I was treated pretty much like any other psychiatric patient, and was given therapy and put on antidepressants. I was obliged to take a DBT class, which at the time I blew off. (DBT is like CBT but exclusive to Borderlines–and it does work. The fact it worked for me makes me think maybe I *did* have BPD but no longer do!)

BPD was always classified as a Cluster B disorder, ever since its introduction into the DSM in 1980 (it was recognized, however, for much longer than that, and popularized as a disorder in the 1960s because of the research of Otto Kernberg, a German psychologist who studied “the narcissistic and borderline personalities,” and other “disorders of the self.”).* All “Cluster B” means really is the person has a weak, fragmented or nonexistent sense of self. Not being able to access a “true self” means they become either cut off from or cannot regulate their emotions. One of the results of this is a lack of empathy (but BPDs are the most empathetic of all the B’s, and some have normal levels of empathy). In NPD, a strong false self takes the place of the true one, which is a very dissociative symptom. In BPD, there’s not a strong false self like with NPD, but there is a weak and unstable one, and the person isn’t ALWAYS showing that false self. Some BPDs act quite a bit like over-emotional or unstable narcissists (or narcissists in the midst of a breakdown due to loss of supply). Others act like covert narcissists or just act neurotic and insecure but are otherwise nice people. Some feel their emotions too much, including empathy. A few are antisocial. I’m not sure why BPD (and maybe NPD) isn’t classified as a dissociative disorder, because essentially the person is cut off from their “self” in some form or another and that is what dissociation means. I’m not sure what the mechanics are in ASPD (antisocial personality disorder) but they are very different from either Borderlines or narcissists because they aren’t dependent on others to boost their weak egos. They are psychopathic and just do what they want.


So the Cluster B’s, including BPD, were already around, but until the mid-1990s, no one thought of them as anything but mental illnesses or for ASPD, a kind of “adult conduct disorder.” They were psychiatric labels and nothing more. The narc abuse community started in 1995 or so, and Sam Vaknin was pretty much the first one online who wrote about it. Of course, he has NPD but even so, he first called attention to the “evil”-ness of NPD/narcissism (actually it was M. Scott Peck but at the time he wrote “People of the Lie” in 1983, the term “malignant narcissism” wasn’t in vogue yet and there was no connection of “evil people” to people with NPD. There was also no Internet to spread Peck’s concepts like wildfire the way they could have been in 1995 and later. But over time, M. Scott Peck’s book has become one of the most popular in the narc-abuse community) After Vaknin established his online narcissistic abuse community and wrote his popular book “Malignant Self-Love,” more narc-abuse sites got established (many or most of them started by victims, who were understandably angry at the narcissists who had abused them). Soon “narcs are evil” became a sort of meme, and by association, so did all the Cluster B disorders earn a “evil” reputation.

There are benefits to this, of course. Victims are being more heard than ever before. People are paying attention and avoiding narcissistic abusers. But some people who carry a Cluster B label are being hurt too, especially Borderlines (or people–usually women–who were erroneously diagnosed with it). Some experts want to get rid of BPD and just re-label BPD as Complex PTSD (probably not a bad idea). There are MANY similarities. The vast majority of BPDs are not anything like malignant narcissists and are not sociopathic at all. Most just act extremely insecure, needy, and maybe “high maintenance.” They can be manipulative or act out to avoid rejection. They may collude with people with NPD, however. But it’s possible to find these same types of behaviors in many people with Complex PTSD. Are they actually the same thing?

Another reason for the BPD stigma could be the tendency for narcissists and borderlines to form partnerships or be attracted to each other. In such a pairing, the Borderline is almost always the abused or codependent partner. In several “couple killings,” one of the criminal partners, usually the female, has had a BPD diagnosis. But they may have been so brainwashed by their abusers they were coerced into colluding with them against others (a form of Stockholm Syndrome).

Finally, a number of high profile criminals and serial killers have labels of NPD or BPD. But they almost always also have a comorbid ASPD diagnosis. Media icons like Joan Crawford who were known to scapegoat their children also had a BPD diagnosis. In Crawford’s case, she was also diagnosed with HPD (Histrionic Personality Disorder). It wouldn’t surprise me at all if she had NPD (malignant) or ASPD as well, as her behavior was very sociopathic behind closed doors.

Why am I “defending” people with BPD if I don’t have it?  Several reasons:

  1.  I was diagnosed with it and carried that diagnosis for two decades.   I have personally experienced being rejected by therapists once they saw my “red letter” on paper.
  2. Just because my current therapist thinks I don’t have it doesn’t mean I don’t.  Or maybe I did have it and no longer do.  If I no longer have it, that means BPDs are not “hopeless.”
  3. Maybe BPD isn’t a valid diagnosis.
  4. Many people I have cared about who were slapped with “BPD” have been hurt by it.

These are just my rambling thoughts about this matter; I’d be interested in hearing your opinions.

* Timeline of BPD


9 thoughts on “Where did BPD stigma come from?

  1. I have BPD & I refuse to hide the diagnosis from people. I was raised by a narcissistic dad & my mom either has BPD as well or NPD. I didn’t ask to be abused & to develop this disorder. To me, it’s like a cancer patient being embarrassed or having cancer. We need more people like you who are willing to talk about it!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. My experience was with someone, “Tracy,” whose mother has BPD, and her husband and another person said she has it as well. But in reviewing the traits of the different disorders, she seemed more narcissistic than BPD in many ways. I was soured on BPD because of her, but then an old classmate of mine spoke on Facebook about being BPD. She was in therapy and very much against abusive behavior. Two people with BPD but with very different behavior. And you–Before I met Tracy in person, I knew her on a web forum. The way she wrote was very different from the way you write. She was very argumentative and critical, and could skewer a person for doing the same things she herself did at the same age. 😛 I don’t see you act like that at all.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I remember reading about Tracy on your blog. What a piece of work, huh?
      She could be both a narcissist and BPD, it’s not that uncommon. Borderlines can also act narcissistic when triggered, but are more likely to rage and lose control.

      I’ve gotten pretty good at picking out “red flags” online — I stay pretty far away from bloggers who are combative, always seem angry, always sarcastic or snarky, or do not tolerate opposing viewpoints. As you know. 😉


  3. Its interesting my current therapist also doesn’t feel I have BPD but I always feel a sense of empathy and commonality with borderlines and relate to a lot of what is written on the disorder. One therapist I saw said she thought I had a mild form of it, and my current therapist raised her eyes at that. In the book I am currently reading The Borderline Personality Survival Guide the writer says it shouldn’t be confused with Complex PTSD but there seems to be a lot of overlap. I know there is a borderline spectrum and my therapist tells me many people are on it, which doesn’t mean they are actually borderline. It all gets a bit confusing at times. Any way would be interested in your thoughts. I know you have written heaps on it and love the way you and others fight to have what people suffer less maligned and more understood.


  4. Thank you for writing this. I’m 20 and I was just diagnosed with BPD, after being diagnosed with MDD and GAD last year. I’m trying to make peace with and come out about my diagnosis, but it’s so hard to do it with the stigma attached to BPD, and also I still don’t know much about BPD. I’ve had people calling me mean and abusive and hysterical but I really don’t know how to regulate my emotions and don’t know how to explain it to them either. But I will be starting psychotherapy soon, so I hope I will get better. To be honest I’m scared and worried—my extreme mood swings and explosive emotions have become a comfort zone to me, albeit a very uncomfortable one. Reading your post gives me hope. Thank you very much for writing it, and for helping people like me and fighting the stigma against Cluster B disorders.

    I hope you have a good day ahead. God bless you.

    Liked by 1 person

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