I need to get out more.

church_choir

I’ve decided to join the choir at my church.

I don’t normally go in much for church-related activities, but I’ve always loved to sing and I love music, and I feel like this is a way I can encourage myself to interact with actual people in a way that might be fun and not require too much actual social interaction since we’d be spending most of the time singing and not talking.

I know that isolating myself as much as I do isn’t healthy. Introversion is fine, but not to the point where you live as a near-recluse, shunning any social involvement at all. Deliberately avoiding all social interaction isn’t going to help me conquer my Avoidant PD or my covert narcissism or whatever. While I have to accept (and do accept) that I’ll never be an extrovert or social butterfly, self improvement requires me to take this step.

Lately my isolation from others has been bothering me. I’m lonelier than I like to admit. I want to connect with people, even though it’s hard for me to do that and there’s definitely an element of anxiety. My shyness has not gone away.

If I’m ever going to meet people I can become potentially close to, just being around them in an environment where we’re sharing a fun activity (like singing) seems like a good way to start.
So tomorrow night I’ll be showing up at choir practice. I’m actually sort of excited about it!
Why limit my singing to my car where I’m my only audience?

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4 thoughts on “I need to get out more.

  1. Congratulations on your decision!

    I can’t carry a tune, but I can sing well enough to keep the dark things at bay! That’s a joke by the way, we used to have a choir director that would say, “just make a joyful noise unto the Lord, people.” Then he’d hold his head in his hands and moan, “well, at least your voices are strong enough to chase the dark things away.” It was Junior high and none of us could really sing. He taught me a valuable lesson however, singing keeps the dark things at bay. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Singing in a church choir is a great way to get out and be of service. When you sing with others, you don’t need to have a great solo voice and when you sing in church, you are praying in song, not trying to give a concert. You want to sing well, of course, but you don’t have to stress about performance as much as in other settings. And it is true that talking during rehearsal is generally frowned upon, so it should be a good way to ease into a social setting without pressure to be chatty.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I could have written this, (although, not as well as you did!). I, too, have withdrawn, isolated myself, and become a hermit. I know the “aloneness” is not healthy for me, but I actually feel very content and happy being alone in my house, and doing the things I enjoy doing, or need to do (blah). I like not feeling judged by others, and being able to totally relax amongst myself- (and, two cats, and an Australian Shepherd). Yet, there are times in which I do not that an inner-part of me is needing, badly, to interact with other human beings. Of course, I love being around my two young-adult sons. But, sometimes, (because I love them so much), my desire to be completely “normal” and perfect around them can be a bit difficult, but no less a joy, as they are my greatest loves- (which is why I “try so hard”)…

    Like

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